I was thinking today...often we (my bbc friends) say that infertilitly and IVF is such a roller coaster. I think it might actually be more like a marathon...not a race, but a marathon. You start out, often with others you may or may not know are in the same marathon, at the sound of the shotgun. You are all running along. For some runners, the marathon is beautiful, smooth and straight. For others, you may run into some hurdles. Some women stride over the hurdles gracefully, while others sometimes fall and skin thier knees. They get up and with luck they get over the hurdle and finish thier marathon. For some, they get over the hurdle to be faced with yet another one...and another one. Some people, and I include myself in this catagory, just can't seem to get over that first hurdle. Many of your friends have crossed over the finish line and are enjoying the fruits of thier labor. Most of them have not forgotten about you and that first hurdle. I imagine it pains them to not be able to help you over the hurdle. Some may even offer to jump that hurdle for you if you need them too and even a select few offer to run the whole marathon for you. You start to think, "maybe I should forget about this hurdle for a while." Maybe if you train more (diet and exercise) or seek out herbal remedies maybe you will be able to jump higher and clear the hurdle. You try everything in your power to get over that hurdle just to be knocked down by it over and over. You get so exhausted and tired of having scraped knees. Sometimes you think, "there must be another marathon for me. One that will allow me to cross the finish line."...even if that marathon takes you in a different direction. Sometimes you see some of the same familiar runners attempting this marathon for the second or third time...all while you are still trying to get over that one darn hurdle! Your friends and loved ones are often on the sidelines with all the positive energy in the world, cheering you on and offering support when you get knocked down. They all wish your marathon was without hurdles and you could just run right over the finish line.
Well, I am planning on making it over that darn hurdle and enjoying the fruits of my labor in early 2009. I understand that my new "trainer" is the best around! :D
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3 comments:
Lisa-Consider me friend who is on the sidelines watching you run, sweat, cry to get over that hurdle. Consider me the friend that would pick you up and carry you over the hurdle if I could. I can't say that I know how you feel--I just know that I want the pain in your heart to be replaced with a baby in your arms to love and hold forever. When you do cross the finish line to this marathon, I only imagine that your victory will taste sweeter than anything you'd ever thought possible.
Lisa - I'm cheering you on from the sidelines too!! I hope this trainer gets you to the finish the line in first place!!! And you made me cry!
im routing for you too Lisa!!! go girl
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