Jumpin' on the bandwagon

So, I thought I'd try this blogging thing out...I mean everybody's doin' it, right?! Don't worry, mom, I won't jump off a bridge! haha!

A little about me. I am 34 and on a quest to be a mother. That is it in a nutshell. Our journey (that'd be me and my husband, Ryan) to become parents started out in January of 2005. Our thoughts at the time were if it happened right away, we would be ok, but if it took a while, you know, like 6 months or so, that would be ok too. Well, those six months came and went. The biggest problem was that I was not "regular"...I mean that I didn't have a visit from "Aunt Flo" during those 6 months. I went to my Ob/Gyn and they weren't too concerned. They said that with some people, it takes time to get the birth control pill out of thier system. After another 5 months, and still no visit from AF, I went back to the doctor. We decided that I should go on Clomid. This drug would make me ovulate. There was a small chance of twins being on this drug. Ryan and I were a little frightened about that at first, but decided to do it anyway (no pun intended). So, I took Clomid for 4 months. The worst side effects were the headaches and the night sweats. But I could handle it if it meant getting pregnant. After this didn't work, my Ob/Gyn suggested I seek the help of a Reproductive Endocrinologist, or RE for short. We went to a seminar of a local RE that we had heard good things about. We "signed on" right away. This was March of 2006.

After our initial consultation with this doctor, we discovered our best bet of having a baby would be In-Vitro Fertilization, or IVF. We were shocked! Never in my dreams of becoming a mother did I ever see them starting thier lives in a test tube! I was diagnosed with having PCOS and Ryan had low morphology, meaning if I did ovulate, his "swimmers" could get there fast (and lots of them) but only a small percentage of them would "know what to do" once they got there. So, after our pity party, we got going.

Our first IVF started in June of 2006. It consisted of about 15 days of twice daily shots sub-cutaniously (sub-q) or in the belly or upper thigh. Did I mention my paralyzing fear of needles yet?! But again, what ever it took to have a baby, I'd find a way to do it. I also decided to up my chances and do acupuncture (gasp!). With this cycle, I got 13 eggs, 12 fertilized. After my egg retrieval, I developed Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome, or OHSS. I looked as though I was 5 months pregnant because of all the fluid in my abdomen. The pain was excrutiating. I told Ryan, "this better work, because I can't do this again." After a couple "emergency" trips to the doctors and lots of vicodin, we came upon our transfer day. We transferred two 5 day blastocysts. I was feeling a little better at this time so we decided to go ahead with the transfer rather than freeze everything and transfer at a later date. Unfortunately, I did not get pregnant. We were devastated and confused. How could it have not worked?! They put 2 embryos directly into my uterus!!

In October 2006, we decided to give our 5 frozen embryos a chance. When it came time for this transfer, we were told that 4 survived "the thaw" but they did not look good at all. We transferred all 4, but the end result was the same, bfn (big fat negative).

Then we hesitantly went into another fresh cycle in December of 2006. I was scared to death about OHSS again. I was monitored very closely and was lucky to not hyperstim again. With this cycle, we got 12 eggs, 11 fertilized. Again, we transferred two 4 day morulas that were "beautiful". Our hearts broke once again when it was another bfn and we had nothing "left over" to freeze. After this, I was focused on getting my body healthy again since all the hormones and shots take a major toll on your body, not to mention mind. I started seeing an herbalist. I took tons of herbs, changed my diet and felt great! So.....

We decided to go for it again in May of 2007. I once again did acupuncture. I, surprisingly enough, LOVE acupuncture now! This cycle went beautifully. They got 28 eggs out of me this time! We transferred two 5 day blasts graded 5AA, "textbook quality". We felt so good about this cycle, so much was different already! However, once again, we were blown away with yet another bfn. I seriously thought the nurse was joking when she called with the results.

After all the heartache, Ryan and I decided it was time to go in a different direction. Our doctor wouldn't run additional tests. His answer for us was to use a surrogate. We were not ready for that since we didn't have any answers to all of our "whys". So, we made an aggressive decision...we were going to Denver to see the #1 fertility specialist in the world...Dr. William Schoolcraft.