Friday, January 30, 2009
We have had an emotional day. I knew there would be ups and downs with 3 babies in the NICU, but there isn't anything that can be said or that you can read on other peoples blogs that can really prepare you for it. I know my friends, old and new, that have been in this position have a lot of words of encouragement. Hearing about their experiences and seeing the beautiful faces of their little ones on the other side of all of this is so inspirational. I hope to be able to "pay it forward" when our family is on "the outside" and all of this is a memory.
Here are some pictures of us with the babies:
Mommy and Elaina:
Mommy and Emery "Kangarooing":
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Elaina- Our first, and biggest baby is doing well, but has had a few issues that are being addressed. she is off the ventilator, but is now wearing a cpap mask to steady her breathing. She has had a few episodes where she forgets to breath, so they are treating her with caffeine to stimulate her. It has been working great. The doctor noticed a heart murmur and it was discovered that she has a vessel still open that should have closed when she was born. this is somewhat common in preemies and they have decided to just observe for 2 days to see if it closes on its own. If not, there is a medicine treatment available with a 2/3 success rate. She's a fighter, so we are hoping for the best. Either way they assured us that it will be corrected one way or another. We are praying for her. She is also under uv light to treat her jaundice. Also very common. she has beautiful blond hair and looks like mommy.
Emery- Our second, and tiniest baby is doing surprisingly well. She was the first off of her vent and also has the cpap apparatus to help her regulate breathing. She is feisty, but looks so sweet and is just tiny. She is also under uv light treatment for jaundice, but otherwise is doing very well. We think she is a little milkshake of mommy and daddy.
George- Our third born is still on his ventilator, but the nurses are working to ween him off... It is common for boys to take a little longer in the breathing department. He's just working a little too hard to come off yet... He pulls at his tubes alot, but seems to like being on his tummy, so that is how he is spending most of his time lately. He is also under uv light treatments for jaundice. He is also a feisty little guy with a strong grip. He has big hands and feet like daddy. Everybody says he is 100% boy. He has little black curly hair, and we think he looks more like daddy, but who knows at this point...
Mommy- Mommy is being a trooper. She has some pretty bad swelling of her extremities, but no complications from surgery. She gets to visit the babies a few times a day, but unfortunatley, they are not ready to be held yet, which is a bit hard to handle. Hopefully we'll get to hold them in the next day or two once they are a bit more stable and adjusted to being in the real world.
Daddy- Daddy is running on adrenaline still. Not much sleep, but hopefully tonight will be better.
We appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers during this emotionally and physically draining time. We've had lots of visitors and enjoy showing off our new family. Mommy will be coming home on Monday, but I'm sure we'll be visiting our little babies often. Our lives have a new purpose, and we wouldn't have it any other way. It's been a long time coming and we plan on giving them our all.
More pictures and updates to come. Stay tuned...
Mommy during delivery- She did great!
Getting ready for surger prep...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Yesterday, upon waking up at 7am, I was hoping to see the swelling go down a little bit. I think it is here to stay until after the babies are born. I find myself looking at the calendar searching for the closest date these babies can be born safely, even thinking, "they would be ok if they were born at 30 weeks" or 31, etc. Enter second meltdown. Around midnight. Poor Ryan wakes up on the couch to his wife crying, yet again. I was overcome with guilt about even thinking that! All these babies need is for me to put on my big girl panties (well, actually literally too!) and suck it up and be a good mom. They NEED more time inside me. That is my job right now, to do what is best for them, swollen legs, carpal tunnel and everything else...I need to focus on what is best for them...not me. It's not about me anymore, it's about them and what they need. I know I will be a good mom, but last night, maybe blame hormones, I don't know, I was really starting to doubt myself about this. I want them out so I can be comfortable again...but not at the sake of their well being and health. I need to focus on that. I have made it to 29 weeks...I can do this for at least 4 more weeks, right?
So, thank you again for all of your encouraging words...it truly means the world to me!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Here is the covered 28 week belly picture:
Big 28 week belly:
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Triplet 1, Elaina "Lainey" Dee, profile, 26w2d:
Triplet 1, Elaina "Lainey" Dee, face (on right, belly on left with her arm up on top), 26w2d:
The babies were also measured on this day.
Lainey - 2lbs 3oz
George - 2lbs
Emery - 2lbs 1oz
They are all so close in size which is great!
Other than that, I still have cankles, sleep is getting to be a challenge and I'm not feeling very "pretty" but it is all worth it and I can take it! I wouldn't change a thing and I am in awe every day at this big belly and the fact that there are THREE BABIES in there! I wonder if that ever seems "real"?!? haha!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Last Saturday, well I guess Sunday as it was after midnight, we had to put our beloved dog, Thor, to sleep. I have had Thor for just over 13 years. He was a member of the family and a best friend. I try to find comfort in knowing that he didn't suffer long. It all started the evening after Christmas Day. Thor seemed a little "off" at bedtime, but I figured it was from all the excitement of the day and all the people that were at our house for Christmas. Around 3am, he woke me up...he was pacing the upstairs hallway and he usually sleeps thru the night on his favorite dog bed in our room. I woke Ryan up and told him the dog needed to go outside. When he put Thor outside, he was retching, but couldn't throw up. Ryan called me downstairs and said something was wrong. Thor's stomach was very distended. I called the emergency vet and they said to bring him in immediately and that it sounded like a condition called "bloat". At the vet, they confirmed that Thor had bloat. Basically, the stomach overturns on itself cutting off the blood supply to his vital organs and filling the abdomen with gas. The vet gave Thor a 50/50 chance of surviving the procedure (putting him under, passing a tube down his throat into his stomach, removing the contents and then manipulating the stomach back to normal). She said he could need surgery to remove parts of his stomach and possibly his spleen. We both agreed that given his age, such a surgery could be more traumatic to him. We ok'd the first procedure. We had an emotional goodbye with our good boy and went home. The vet called me at 6am and said Thor tollerated the procedure very well and that his spleen was slightly enlarged, but was shrinking. She said he still wasn't out of the woods and still gave him a 50/50 chance of recovery. At 9am they called and said he was still sedate, but was improving. Around 6pm we got another call and he was still improving. They would try to re-introduce food and water around 5am the next morning (Saturday). According to the treatment log, Thor was sleeping soundly and comfortably. I called Saturday around noon for an update and they said Thor was keeping food and water down and no signs of re-bloating. Then the best words came...we could pick him up later in the afternoon!
We picked Thor up around 2pm. He was so sad looking. He couldn't control his bladder in the lobby and when we got him outside he collapsed in exhaustion. We questioned if it was too early to take him home but we were told the best place for him to recover was at home. My dad came over to help Ryan get Thor inside. Still on his favorite bed, they had to use it like a stretcher to get Thor inside. We put his bed in front of the fireplace and turned it on. We both laid with him and gave him lots of "scrubs" (aka pet him). I had to feed him "meatballs" of moist dog food the vet sent us home with and give him water thru a syringe. I was only able to get him to eat the meatballs that had his meds in them and this was basically force feeding. He had no interest...anyone who knew Thor knows this is very out of character.
Ryan went to make an appearance at a friend of ours 30th birthday party and I stayed home with Thor. My mom and dad came over in case I needed help. Before Ryan left he tried a few times to get Thor up to go outside...he wouldn't budge. When Ryan got home, he tried again. It was as if Thor was paralyzed in his hind legs. His breathing was also starting to appear labored. We called the vet again and she recommended bringing him back in for reassessment. She said he should have been moving around by now. I was a mess...I just knew that if Thor went back, he wasn't coming home. My dad and Ryan went. I told them if it was bad, I wanted to be there. My dad called my mom a short while later. It wasn't good. Thor was in pain. His heart was beating about 3x's faster than it should have been. The vet told Ryan she could try some things that would maybe buy us up to 2 months with Thor. I knew the quality of his life would not be there and that it would be selfish on my part to make him suffer any longer. Ryan and my parents were worried about me and they all thought it was best that I didn't go up there. Ryan promised me he would stay with Thor the entire time and tell him how much I loved him. He did just that and gave him "scrubs" the whole time. Ryan said that once he passed, he seemed to "smile". It was one of the hardest decisions, but I know we made the right one for Thor.
The next few days were very sad and while we are still sad today, I had a sense of peace once Thor's ashes were back here with us. We will probably bury him on a hill in our backyard this spring, once the ground softens. We are dog sitting my sisters golden retriever as well...and we were when all of this started too. Having her here has helped a little, I think. She goes home today, so we'll see how we feel after she leaves. She keeps looking around for Thor. :(
So many people have been very supportive and we are so thankful for that. I know that Thor will be watching over his little brother and sisters when they arrive in this world. I only wish he would be here to greet them too.