Thank you, everyone, for your encouraging words. I do feel like I have been complaining a lot and yesterday I had a melt down. I guess a little one on Saturday too. Saturday, we were getting ready to go to our nephews 2nd birthday party. I put on some jeans that were previously comfortable. By previously, I mean earlier that week. Well, now the water retention is so bad that my legs from mid thigh down are crazy swollen. I caught a glimpse of my self in the mirror, au naturale, and seriously, I look like Buda! So, these previously comfy jeans gave me sausage legs now. So, that was bad enough...then I asked Ryan to help me put on my Ugg boots. These boots have been the only thing I can wear on my feet (besides my slippers) for over a month now. Well, we got them on and they hurt sooo bad. I had to have him take them off immediately. That is when the water works started. Ryan cleared a path for me to get to the car (gotta love all this darn snow) so I could just wear my slippers over to the party. I made it through the rest of the evening.
Yesterday, upon waking up at 7am, I was hoping to see the swelling go down a little bit. I think it is here to stay until after the babies are born. I find myself looking at the calendar searching for the closest date these babies can be born safely, even thinking, "they would be ok if they were born at 30 weeks" or 31, etc. Enter second meltdown. Around midnight. Poor Ryan wakes up on the couch to his wife crying, yet again. I was overcome with guilt about even thinking that! All these babies need is for me to put on my big girl panties (well, actually literally too!) and suck it up and be a good mom. They NEED more time inside me. That is my job right now, to do what is best for them, swollen legs, carpal tunnel and everything else...I need to focus on what is best for them...not me. It's not about me anymore, it's about them and what they need. I know I will be a good mom, but last night, maybe blame hormones, I don't know, I was really starting to doubt myself about this. I want them out so I can be comfortable again...but not at the sake of their well being and health. I need to focus on that. I have made it to 29 weeks...I can do this for at least 4 more weeks, right?
So, thank you again for all of your encouraging words...it truly means the world to me!
About Me
- Lisa
- Infertility....well, it sucks. I started this blog in the middle of my journey to become a parent. As I am on the brink of starting IVF #5, I decided to document the before, during and after so that I can share this story with my children someday so that they can understand how they came to be...
8 comments:
Lisa, don't be so hard on yourself. This whole thing is HARD and just because you have the babies it dosen't get easier, at least not right away. You are entitled to feel the way you do. You are doing an AWSOME job and you can only hang in there so long. 34 weeks would be great, but I bet you go 32 or 33 weeks. No matter what you are doing GREAT!!!
Jill
Lisa,
We haven't met yet but I've been reading your blog thru a few others I know. As a mom who had her triplets at 26 weeks (g/g/b on 7/17/07, I would have given anything to suffered a little more so they wouldn't have had to - thank God we were given 3 little fighters who are overall doing awesome!
You look great and you're doing a great job, if you need something to help you keep going, maybe set up one thing everyday that's relaxing, or maybe a treat to eat, just something that keeps you looking forward to it each day so you can keep counting them off!
Keep on baking, it will be worth it!
Jamie
Like Tommmy the Train... you can do it you can do it ... you can you CAN! Every minute, every hour... keep baking those babies. Maybe lay on the couch with your feet and legs up on the back of the couch or on many pillows? (you will need help with that!)
Hugs
Rooth
Wow, I could totally relate to this post! Know that you're not alone in how you're feeling right now. By 28 weeks I had gestational diabetes, on bedrest, had PUPPS (HORRIBLE skin rash) and felt the same way about wanting to deliver the babies. Take it one day at a time and before you know it, 34 weeks will arrive and you'll be holding your beautiful babies and you'll completely forget about the last few days.
Hang in there, we'll keep you in our prayers!
Jen
You are allowed to complain as much as you want lady!! You have done so well, & you only have a few weeks now, you are gonna be an AMAZING Mommy...I know it!!!
PS. It really meant alot to us that you made it out to Blake's party, by the sounds of it it wasn't an easy task:(((
Lisa! You are supposed to cry, did I forget to tell you that? :) Those last few weeks (probably from 28-33) I cried to either my mom or Gee-off (or you girls) almost every day. "I can't do it anymore, but I have to!!!" I did stay in the house at that point, I went to a movie at 29 weeks and that was it, I knew I couldn't go out after that. I was too uncomfortable and didn't want to risk labor while out and about. You will go as long as those babies will let you. I know it sounds cliche, but it will happen when it's meant to be. It does not make you any less of a good mommy if you make it one more day or 4 more weeks. You love those babies and you're doing the best you can! By the way, there's probably going to be more crying in your future, I mean you and the babies! And probably Ryan too! :) It's ok, having triplets is an experience unlike anything else. Now I'm rambling, but just know I'm thinking of you and I'm going to email you my # if you need to talk, ok?
Lisa, CRY, COMPLAIN - do whatEVER you need to do...the last several weeks of pregnancy are hard on anyone, let alone someone pg with triplets. You don't feel well, you are tired, you aren't sleeping - who wouldn't feel the way you do?
Wear your sweats with pride and hey, if they don't fit, wear those big girl panties and snuggle under the covers all day! (I remember being pg with my first - and that was only 1! - the last 4 weeks I couldn't even fit into crocs without leaving indentations of holes on the top of my feet!!!!)
Hang in there...you are entitled to feel however you feel, whenever you are feeling it.
~Maria
You can do it, Lisa! Every day they are in your belly is a couple less days in the NICU. Maybe no days in the NICU! That should be your goal. I know you feel terrible right now, beyond terrible...but all of that disappears the moment those babies arrive. It is SO worth it! Try your best to stay positive and when that doesn't work, eat treats, watch good shows/movies and imagine those little peanuts growing and getting cuter and healthy every day. You can do this!
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