Thank you, everyone, for your encouraging words. I do feel like I have been complaining a lot and yesterday I had a melt down. I guess a little one on Saturday too. Saturday, we were getting ready to go to our nephews 2nd birthday party. I put on some jeans that were previously comfortable. By previously, I mean earlier that week. Well, now the water retention is so bad that my legs from mid thigh down are crazy swollen. I caught a glimpse of my self in the mirror, au naturale, and seriously, I look like Buda! So, these previously comfy jeans gave me sausage legs now. So, that was bad enough...then I asked Ryan to help me put on my Ugg boots. These boots have been the only thing I can wear on my feet (besides my slippers) for over a month now. Well, we got them on and they hurt sooo bad. I had to have him take them off immediately. That is when the water works started. Ryan cleared a path for me to get to the car (gotta love all this darn snow) so I could just wear my slippers over to the party. I made it through the rest of the evening.
Yesterday, upon waking up at 7am, I was hoping to see the swelling go down a little bit. I think it is here to stay until after the babies are born. I find myself looking at the calendar searching for the closest date these babies can be born safely, even thinking, "they would be ok if they were born at 30 weeks" or 31, etc. Enter second meltdown. Around midnight. Poor Ryan wakes up on the couch to his wife crying, yet again. I was overcome with guilt about even thinking that! All these babies need is for me to put on my big girl panties (well, actually literally too!) and suck it up and be a good mom. They NEED more time inside me. That is my job right now, to do what is best for them, swollen legs, carpal tunnel and everything else...I need to focus on what is best for them...not me. It's not about me anymore, it's about them and what they need. I know I will be a good mom, but last night, maybe blame hormones, I don't know, I was really starting to doubt myself about this. I want them out so I can be comfortable again...but not at the sake of their well being and health. I need to focus on that. I have made it to 29 weeks...I can do this for at least 4 more weeks, right?
So, thank you again for all of your encouraging words...it truly means the world to me!